Unexplainable Peace.

Peace.

A word I cannot fathom life without. A word I didn’t know I could have so much of abundantly. My struggle with anxiety (which I will explain in a later post) prevented me from thinking I could ever attain such a word of hope. But peace is more than a word. It’s sipping coffee on your grandmother’s back porch on a summer Saturday morning. It’s in the stillness of night when you have a long drive home and the bustle of the world has faded. It’s the breeze trickling through autumn leaves you hear on a windy backroad. In a walk on the beach. In a kiss on the cheek. In the simple tug at your heartstrings from God. It’s not only an emotion, it’s an experience. Such experiences can be overwhelming, and those moments of mine are what I’m going to share with you.

One particular experience I have had a couple of times, which is a blessing because normally moments like these I remember and don’t re-live. This moment happened at SharpTop Cove during our high school retreat sophomore year. It was night time, the last and only night of the retreat, after the final worship session. The two lead singers came outside the Wheelhouse after it was over with two acoustic guitars and just started playing. They would take requests for songs every now and then, and students gathered around until it formed a gradual group of 5 to 10 to 20. Everyone just sat around one another, worshipping our Creator, with no worry in the world. It felt as if in that period of time, no one was wearing a mask. Everyone was being their genuine selves, no one was fake. Real. Genuine. Raw. Everyone’s hearts were open to what the Lord wanted to do with them. It was completely still and quiet, and stars cloaked the entire sky like a blanket. No breeze. No noise. Nothing. Just a pure and blissful outpour of longing for the Lord. And then I felt it. A swift breeze rushed from behind our backs and hummed through the trees for a few minutes. And I knew. THAT was the presence of God here among this group of people. He took notice of the abundant faith and was marveled by it. He let Himself be known. He filled me with unexplainable peace. The following year, Junior year, the same experience occurred almost exactly, and it gave me an affirmation of His genuine love and care for me.

Another instance where such peace was felt was during my family reunion for my mom’s side of the family we have every year in North Carolina. The trip is up to the mountains in late summer, which is indescribably beautiful. The greenery, the sunrays on vast cotton fields that seem to go on forever, the aging small white cottages with gardens in their front lawns; a placid picture of peace. But the experience did not come until long into the family reunion. There had just been a downpour of rain, (which it rains literally every year for a random spur of 20 minutes and then stops) and the whole area of grass on the mountain had a yellow-green hue covering it. The pavilion where everyone had eaten lunch earlier was becoming filled with people relaxing after playing and tubing in the creek. I distinctly remember walking through the grass field, feeling dew between my toes, my hairs highlights reflecting off the sun, and my skin being as freckled as can be. I was walking towards the pavilion, realizing everyone’s unity. Everyone was together in this beautiful creation God has given us, and it hit me, THIS is what heaven is going to be like. Surrounded by family, laughter, beauty, and peace. I was completely at ease. I began to tear up. I was not worried about any other thing in my life because I was so engulfed in that singular moment of time.

God does that sometimes for us. He blesses us and in the most unexpected moments of time, He directs our gaze to Him. He makes Himself known. His presence. His prevalence. His sovereignty. It all comes together, He washes over us fully and whispers to us, “I’ve got you. You’re mine.” These are only two instances of mine, and there are many more I’d like to share later on. For the time being, my hope and prayer is for everyone to know that peace is possible. If you struggle with anxiety, or have a restless mind, He gives rest to the weary. You need only come. Just call on His name, He hears you, trust me. Peace from God is like no other, so look for the small things and in the smallest moments. Those usually end up being the most impactful.

Stay Encouraging. Be Strong.

mw