Surrounded.

This is how I fight my battles. He is making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the wasteland.(Isaiah 43:18-19) My peace I leave with you, my peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world does.(John 14:27)

A few meaningful words and quotes from scripture I've been continually repeating to myself over these past few weeks. My life recently has gone a direction I never thought it would go, and God took my plans I had for myself and shattered them. Things in my life I thought I always would have, now gone. Elaborate, huge, end of the year senior year plans, completely changed. And I will not lie, I am heartbroken and devastated.

These emotions can only fade with time, but meanwhile to fill the sorrows I needed something to turn to while I feel like I had nothing and no one. I have been crying out to God, even screaming for an answer as to what He wants me to do. I have no clue where His plan is taking me, or what I'm supposed to be doing at all right now. I feel completely and utterly surrounded.

But, this is how I fight my battles. That's an answer I always love to combat all of this sorrow with when people ask about hardships. Yes, this valley hurts. Yes, I can't handle it on my own. Yes, my flesh is weak... But God.

Now, staying in prayer does not discredit how you feel. Emotions are real, and even though they can be swayed easily and are worldly, we cannot discredit that Satan is prince of this world and still has a very firm grasp on us. This season hurts, but it's called that for a reason, because it will move and change on to another one. And THAT is what I've come to realize recently. Despite my hardships and all of my plans going wrong, it won't last forever. What I think is best for me is not necessarily what's true, and what IS best for me will come in His perfect time. I have reached a point where I don't care about the right answer anymore and I'm trying to let it be even when it's making no sense at all. It's painful, but no one said this journey with Him was easy, and if He's doing this right now at the end of senior year there's got to be a big reason.

"It may look like I'm surrounded, BUT I'm surrounded by You."

He is bigger than our anxieties and troubles and is overseeing all of them, even when we don't see it. (John 13:7 "Jesus answered him, 'What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.'")

I felt like a few others may be going through the same experience right now, so I felt I should write about this for those who are, or who may need it in the future. Message me if you ever want to talk.

Stay Encouraging. Be Strong.

mw